chances

do not wait till a tomorrow comes. chances are like fireworks. their presence can be felt bt it is short. how many times have i let chances slip through my fingers? many, i guess. and so what had came out of it? regret! i hate the word if. just like what one of my friends always said, it is a conditional word. if the first case doesnt happen, the second case will not be the result. to me, if is just a comforting word, to make oneself not feel bad after the mess.

i do not want to live in the world of if anymore. i cant stand the smiling faces and the pretendence that nothing has happened before. is it just me or them? i am feeling this way now is probably because i am always standing at the same spot, whereas they have accepted and moved on with life. and so, they are better than me in a sense. gosh! is it really time for me to migrate?

facing a mess that i had created, not knowing how and where to clear up from. it is really nothing but i just cannot cross my personal obstacle. i am causing so much unhappiness that i feel like crap. no! i dont want to go back in time. chances only happen once and for a reason. if i missed it, that's it. no point crying to go back in time. hang on!